


with you it's paradise

by aquariusblues



Series: holiday [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff, M/M, You're Welcome, bad at summaries but think snhn on vacation just the two of them and everything is beautiful, can't not have at least a little angst but its mostly tooth rotting fluff, canon soonhoon, jihoon pov, slight angst, switch soonhoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 08:17:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16806886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquariusblues/pseuds/aquariusblues
Summary: Soonyoung and Jihoon go on a secret vacation because even geniuses like Woozi need to take a break.





	with you it's paradise

**Author's Note:**

> this is canon soonhoon going on a secret vacation to barcelona.. inspired by my own trip there and some other hc's i have for soonhoon;; ngl writing this made me cry a little and now i love soonhoon even more than i already did. i really hope anyone who reads this loves it as much as i do ♡
> 
> just heads up there are sexy times here that are pretty explicit, if u think i should raise the rating please let me know xx

_If we’re holding hands and together_  
_Wherever we are, it’s paradise_

♡

“Jihooooon,” Soonyoung whines from the couch in Jihoon’s studio. Jihoon ignores him. “Joooooooooonie,” he attempts again but Jihoon doesn’t reply. “Yah!” He tries louder. “Woozi-yah!!!” Nothing. Jihoon isn’t even wearing earphones, he just doesn’t want to reply. He has finally latched onto some inspiration thread if he could just…

He feels Soonyoung’s fingers brush against his forearm and flinches away from his touch. When he looks apologetically at him, Soonyoung is frowning. “You need to take a break,” Soonyoung tells him pointedly and Jihoon shakes his head.

“I’m fine. I want to finish this before bed, you can go if you want.” Soonyoung sighs, leaning back on the couch clearly refusing to leave and Jihoon knows they’re both very aware that it’s three in the morning and way past anyone's bedtime but neither say anything about it.

It takes Jihoon another hour of stubborn search for inspiration until he gives up and swivels his chair to smile weakly at Soonyoung.

“Sorry,” he says quietly, it feels like it takes up all of his effort to say that. He’s exhausted. Soonyoung looks up from his phone where he was playing some game Jihoon already beat three weeks ago and blinks sleepily at him.

“Done for tonight?”

“Yeah, I think.” 

“It sounds good,” he says. Jihoon only had a few notes and it didn’t matter if it sounded good or bad because none of it was coming together. “What’s it for? We don’t have another comeback for at least four months.”

“I won’t have time to work on it while we’re on tour,” Jihoon’s eyes are distant and he knows he looks as dead as he feels, which makes Soonyoung sit up on the couch and pull Jihoon’s chair towards him.

“That’s never stopped you before,” Soonyoung says pointedly and Jihoon grins weakly at him.

“It’s been harder lately,” he admits carefully, watching Soonyoung’s hands cover his kneecaps and squeeze pleasantly. “I can’t seem to–“ He searches for the right words, lips pursing. He doesn’t want to say he’s having a music block but that’s what it feels like. He’d usually ask Bumzu to help him or even Hansol. But Bumzu is in LA right now and Hansol is staying with his family for the few weeks they have vacation and Jihoon wouldn’t want to bother them on their free time anyway. “I just have no ideas. Nothing strings together.”

“I know you hate it when I tell you this,” Soonyoung’s hands are strong and grounding on his thighs. “But maybe you need a break.”

Jihoon’s brows lower. “Do you like it when people tell _you_ to take a break?” 

“No,” Soonyoung admits. “But I need to hear it. And so do you.”

Jihoon sighs, head lowering until it’s almost leaning on top of Soonyoung’s. “You know why I can’t do that,” Jihoon whispers to him. “If I want to write a comeback song for after tour I need to have at least an idea beforehand.”

“You still have time. We’re in Seoul for another month until tour starts. Just take a few days off, Jihoon. Take a walk, play some baseball with Seokmin, visit your family,” Soonyoung tells him, hands still softly rubbing his legs.

“My parents have work,” Jihoon says, distractedly.

“You can write from home, you’ve done that before too.”

Jihoon bites his lip impatiently. “You don’t understand, Soonyoung. In our four years since debut, I’ve never felt this… Incapable.”

Soonyoung’s hold on Jihoon tightens. “You’ve been working nonstop for four years Jihoon, have you ever thought about that?” Jihoon doesn't know what to reply and leans away from him.

“Why aren’t you with your parents then?”

“They live close to Seoul, I see them all the time even when we have schedules,” Soonyoung’s brows are knitted as if unsure where the question came from. “Don’t put this back on me. You know I’m just concerned about you.” Jihoon doesn’t say anything to that. He usually never does when Soonyoung starts worrying about him like this. It’s been years and Jihoon still doesn’t know how to reject it without being rude and how to accept it without seeming weak.

“We should go somewhere together,” Soonyoung suggests suddenly and when Jihoon looks down at him, Soonyoung is grinning his big bright smile and Jihoon can’t help but frown back.. 

“Where?”

“We can go to Busan! You can see your family.”

“We’ve done that before,” Jihoon mutters, feeling sleepy all of a sudden while Soonyoung is awake and jittery, fingers squeezing his knees.

“Okay… So Jeju!” He shakes Jihoon excitedly. “Or outside of Korea! Japan? Thailand?” Then he pauses and starts hitting Jihoon’s thigh excitedly. “Oh, oh, oh! I know! Europe!” 

“Europe?” Jihoon lets out a laugh. “Let’s not exaggerate.”

“Why not?” Soonyoung gets up and grabs Jihoon’s hands to get his attention. “Think about it! We might get recognized in Korea or Japan, but if we go to Europe… I’m pretty sure we’re doing well as Seventeen but we have a chance to get a proper vacation there,” he pauses pulling Jihoon slightly so he looks at him. “ _Together_ ,” he adds pointedly. 

“You’re insane,” Jihoon chuckles but can’t help but admit that it does sound pretty great. They finally have European stops this tour, but it’s only a few cities and Europe is a huge place so getting a chance to visit and alone with Soonyoung… “We’re insane if we do this,” he shakes his head, anxiety flooding him. “If we get caught–“

“We’ll be careful! We’ll get a hotel, fly out separately if you want! Face masks, simple clothing, cover ourselves up head to toe, nobody will ever know! Our hair is black too, we won’t stand out. It’s the perfect opportunity.” When Jihoon doesn’t reply Soonyoung drops onto his knees and hugs Jihoon’s legs hands holding on to his calves. “Please, Jihoonie, pretty please. We’ll be careful, I promise. Our anniversary is coming up, right? This is perfect. Let’s do it.”

Jihoon can’t help but grin at him, hands involuntarily coming up to brush Soonyoung’s fringe away from his forehead. It's all ridiculous but they're both sleep deprived this early in the morning so he doesn't really care to overthink it. “Ugh,” he sighs finally. “Fine. I can’t believe you’re convincing me to do this.”

“Think about it!” Soonyoung's grin is so wide Jihoon feels its power coarse through his body. “Inspiration from a European city for the next comeback… Something romantic I bet,” he winks and scrunches his nose when Jihoon leans down to kiss him because he can’t help himself anymore and Soonyoung, eager as always, kisses him back.

♡

They put cities of choice in a name generator and get Barcelona which is convenient for them because Soonyoung likes to pretend he’s a football fan and they have a tour stop in Madrid so it won’t be repetitive.

They book tickets online and decide not to go for business because they’re using their own money and Soonyoung doesn’t have Jihoon’s royalties and is a little worried that Pledis will see them using flight points so he thinks that’s the safest option anyway. Jihoon doesn’t disagree but does insist on paying for the hotel.

“No,” Soonyoung opposes Jihoon paying immediately. “We’ll split. I can pay.”

“I want to, though,” Jihoon frowns. “This was your idea, let me treat you.” They’re eating dinner in the downstairs' dorm and although they’re alone in the kitchen, they can still hear Wonwoo and Seungcheol’s muffled yelling from their room where they’re playing some video game. Since nobody else is home, though, they’re safe to talk about their trip.

“Don’t pout like that at me,” Soonyoung pushes at Jihoon’s cheek with his finger. “It’s not cute. You’re not my sugar daddy, I can pay for myself.”

Jihoon leans his chin on his hand and smiles a little. “You do realize like fifty percent of my income is thanks to you?” 

“Thanks to all thirteen of us,” Soonyoung points out. “Meanwhile _all_ of my income is thanks to you.”

“Thanks to all of us again,” Jihoon smirks. “Also no point of arguing about this I booked a hotel as soon as we knew where we’re going.” Soonyoung’s jaw drops.

“We didn’t even get the flights yet!”

“Got those too,” Jihoon’s smirk widens and Soonyoung narrows his eyes.

"You got them?”

“No, Yeojin-noona.” She’s the assistant Jihoon hired sometime around their Japan debut when the projects started getting heavier and he needed help managing things outside of their regular Seventeen managers.

“I thought we aren’t telling anyone we’re going,” Soonyoung whispers even though nobody’s listening.

“I trust her with my life,” Jihoon says simply, wiping some sauce from the corner of Soonyoung’s mouth. “I’m sure you already told your mom we’re going.” Soonyoung purses his lips and doesn’t disagree. “Anyway, you can pay me back for the flight, but I’m taking care of the hotel.” Soonyoung doesn’t stop pouting and Jihoon leans in to peck him swiftly. “Buy me dinner or something, okay?”

“I’m buying all your dinners, asshole,” Soonyoung mutters and starts chomping angrily on his food even though it’s definitely cold by now.

“We’re only going for two nights,” Jihoon snickers.

“Then I’ll buy all your lunches! And breakfasts, too!” He adds, pointing his chopsticks accusingly at Jihoon.

“Actually, the hotel includes breakfast,” Jihoon throws in casually and tries not to laugh too hard when Soonyoung groans.

♡

Their flight is on an early Wednesday morning and they’re lucky it’s mid-April because there aren't too many people flying so it wasn’t hard to reserve last minute. They decide not tell anyone they're leaving and they don't really need to. They’re all adults and members come in and out all the time, especially during vacation. Seungcheol does eye Jihoon's duffel bag when he comes into his room the night before the flight though.

“Going to see your family finally?” He asks and Jihoon doesn’t want to let him down because Cheol looks really pleased with that fact.

“You could say that,” Jihoon doesn't enjoy lying to him, but he also doesn't want to explain anything.

Cheol watches him for a moment, then smiles his genuine sweet smile. “Have fun," he tells him softly. "I’m glad you’re taking a break." Jihoon can’t help but smile back.

At four in the morning, Jihoon meets Soonyoung in the hallway so they can head to the airport together. Soonyoung's half asleep, with a bag across his shoulder and a simple mask across his mouth.

“Did you sleep?” Jihoon whispers and Soonyoung nods sleepily.

“Did you?”

“Nope,” Jihoon smiles ordering the elevator. “Too excited.”

Even with the mask, Jihoon can tell Soonyoung is frowning. “You’re making me look bad.” 

By four thirty they’re at the airport and it’s weird to walk in casually without the cameras and fansites. They still walk through the frequent flyer card desk to not risk people recognizing them in line but even so without their managers, crew, and members around the emptiness feels strange and somewhat exhilarating. It's all… So normal. Soonyoung is too sleepy to say anything but Jihoon notices the way his eyes dart around as if looking for something that’s missing. 

They get to the member lounge to wait for the flight and sit in the corner with some coffee and whatever breakfast they serve at five in the morning and Jihoon watches Soonyoung slowly wake up as he sips on his Americano.

“This all feels weird,” Soonyoung says finally. 

“It feels too easy,” Jihoon adds in a low voice. “Like someone’s going to just pop out stop us.”

“Handcuff us as soon as we enter the plane,” Soonyoung’s eyes widen and Jihoon shudders.

“We’re so rebellious.”

“True bad boys of Seventeen.”

Jihoon snickers. “Who else would do something stupid like this?”

Soonyoung nods, meaningfully. “Only the Hoshi-Woozi combo.” Jihoon laughs again watching Soonyoung, head propped on his hand, and wonders briefly if the business man a few seats away is really asleep and maybe he could lean across the table and kiss Soonyoung right there in the lounge where a month from now all of Seventeen will be waiting to start their tour.

Soonyoung must realize what Jihoon is thinking because he looks around the lounge as well and whispers, “Scooch closer.” 

“You, too.”

“Both at the same time?” Soonyoung grins and they do. They’re pretty close now and as soon as a waitress leaves the buffet to get something from the kitchen Soonyoung kisses Jihoon quickly and the adrenaline of it all spikes right through Jihoon's entire body. 

“Okay no more,” Jihoon warns scooting away again quickly glancing at the business man who hasn’t moved since they got here. When he looks back at Soonyoung his eyes are wide and eager. “Put that look away.” 

“Woah,” Soonyoung sighs, smile widening. “Kissing Lee Jihoon in public,” he grabs his hoodie, squeezing it at the chest. “What a dream come true.” Jihoon smiles weakly back and can’t help but wonder if moments like this are the only chances he’ll ever get to do that. 

They board their flight separately just in case, and in the end they did decide to switch their seats for business class because those are slightly separated and the less people see them the better. Plus, Soonyoung doesn't need to know that Jihoon paid the extra business seats fee and lets Soonyoung's half-asleep state believe that it was an automatic point upgrade. They’re still not Bangtan popular, but Seventeen isn’t an unknown group and there’s even a possibility their stewardesses could’ve recognized them but Jihoon is sure they see enough idols to not really care about that anymore. 

Jihoon falls asleep as soon as the plane starts moving and only wakes up when Soonyoung shakes him awake because they’ve landed.

“What the fuck,” he mutters, rubbing his eyes.

“You didn’t move for thirteen hours,” Soonyoung says, clearly impressed. “We’re here,” he adds then, smiling softly. They exit the plane quickly and go straight for passport control where Jihoon leans a little on Soonyoung while they wait in line, still waking up from the slumber. He doesn’t have to say much through the process and Soonyoung takes care of everything including getting them a taxi afterwards that'll take them to the hotel. All Jihoon thinks about is food, more sleep and how great Soonyoung smells even after a thirteen hour flight.

“You really went all out,” Soonyoung mutters when they arrive at the hotel lobby. Usually on tour they stay at nice four star hotels, this one was definitely five stars and Jihoon justified reserving it because they’re only there for a few nights.

“Please don’t tell me you got the honeymoon suite, too,” Soonyoung mutters as they confirm their reservation and Jihoon smirks at him.

“We’re not there yet, _jagiya_ ,” he says and grins when Soonyoung flushes red.

“Lee Jihoon?” The concierge asks and Jihoon pulls down his mask to answer him with his half-assed English even after all these years. “One room for two nights, correct.”

“Yes,” he says taking out his passport knowing the concierge will ask for it next.

“Uh,” the concierge utters, slightly embarrassed. “We seem to have reserved a room with one bed, I could change that if you prefer separate beds?”

Jihoon mouth opens wordlessly and he feels his heart start racing uncomfortably in his chest.

“One bed,” Soonyoung says calmly, hand on the small of Jihoon’s back, steadying him.

“Of course,” the concierge grows flustered. “I apologize,” he adds but Jihoon is already seeing black in the corners of his eyes from how hard that one question hit him. 

“No problem,” Soonyoung replies to the concierge, voice friendly as usual, but Jihoon know he's watching him instead. 

The registration goes smoothly after that, probably because the concierge is a little humiliated and because all three are aware that Jihoon is five minutes away from a mental breakdown. As soon as they receive their key, they take the elevator up to their room. Jihoon doesn't say a word and doesn't meet Soonyoung's eyes and once they're finally inside their suite, he shoves his bag into some corner of the room and falls onto the bed, face down and almost screaming into the sheets.

He feels the mattress dip when Soonyoung sits beside him, hand rubbing his back. “You okay?” He asks softly and Jihoon flips onto his side to look up at him. 

“He offered us two beds,” Jihoon grimaces. “What a fucking wake up call.” 

“Gay marriage has been legal in Spain since 2005,” Soonyoung says matter-of-factly which actually makes Jihoon smile a little.

“What are you a Wikipedia page?”

“I googled it before we came.”

“Why? Did we come here to get married?” Jihoon is teasing him and Soonyoung doesn’t respond to the quip remark.

“I was thinking if I could hold your hand in public actually,” Soonyoung says simply. Jihoon feels his lungs freeze for a moment before his heart starts hammering and bringing his organs back to life. Soonyoung, like this, serious and inadvertently honest, is Jihoon’s favorite. Because it’s rare. Because he’s like this just for him. He raises his hand then and offers it to Soonyoung and Soonyoung takes it, fingers entwining together.

“Here you go,” Jihoon mutters softly and Soonyoung smiles raising their connected hands to kiss the back of Jihoon’s. 

“What do you want to do today?” He asks then and Jihoon sighs. He slept for thirteen hours but he could sleep more he thinks. The whole concierge situation didn't help either. “Come on, Jihoon,” Soonyoung whines trying to pull him up. “I’m hungry.”

“Can’t we just order room service like we usually do?”

“No, you usually do that,” Soonyoung frowns. “Going out of the hotel in new places is pretty fun actually, you’d know that if you ever got out of bed on your free time.”

“There’s plenty of fun things to do in bed,” Jihoon says smirking and Soonyoung blushes as does Jihoon because they both just realized the true implications of his words.

Right. Sex. Well, an almost two-year secret relationship while they live in two separate apartments with eleven more boys… They’ve never really had that much alone time. They haven’t properly discussed it, but there are many implications after years together and finally having proper alone time about where that will lead.

Soonyoung swallows a little too obviously and tries to pull Jihoon up again. “We can save that fun for later,” he promises and Jihoon's flush deepens. “Can we please eat? You haven’t eaten in like sixteen hours I know you’re hungry.”

He’s right of course. Jihoon is starving so he gets up finally and they both put on some deodorant before leaving the hotel to walk around their area and find some food.

They end up eating paella with seafood and both giggle imagining Wonwoo’s face if he’d seen all the shrimp and spend the rest of the day walking around the streets, while Soonyoung looks up places they can visit to make their two day stay worth the money.

“Look,” Soonyoung points at one point. “It’s the love of your life.”

Jihoon looks up and sees GUCCI in big letters and rolls his eyes at Soonyoung. “You really think so little of me?

“Come on,” Soonyoung teases. “Go buy something really useless but very expensive and impress me with how rich you are.”

“Is that really what gets you off?” Jihoon says in all seriousness. “Because I’ll do it.”

“Let’s go then,” Soonyoung grins and they walk into the store, the guard opening the door for them looking at them unsurely. “I bet he thinks we can’t afford anything,” Soonyoung giggles to Jihoon and Jihoon shrugs not really caring what that guy thinks, more interested if the store has anything Yeojin-noona hasn't gotten for him yet. 

“What do you want?” Jihoon asks going straight to the shoe section and Soonyoung puts a hand on his forearm stopping him.

“Enough, you have like four pairs,” Soonyoung tells him as soon as Jihoon picks up green and red slides checking them out.

“They’re comfortable!” Jihoon defends.

“Jihoon, I love you, but when you didn’t wear your slides to the airport this morning it’s the happiest I’ve felt in months,” Soonyoung is dead serious and Jihoon can’t help but burst out laughing.

“They’re not bad,” he hits him lightly with the slide he’s holding and puts it back onto the display when one of the workers gives him a look. “And they’re comfortable! Not like your fur Gucci’s are better,” he says and Soonyoung shakes his head.

“Like you understand fashion… Whatever Myungho recommends is sacred to me.”

“You want me to buy you something or what?” Jihoon probes with a finger on his shoulder.

“Of course not,” Soonyoung looks at him incredulously. "You're spending enough money on me as it is. Let’s go.”

“Well if you’re not getting anything then I really might get these,” he says again reaching for the slides and Soonyoung grabs his hand midair and drags him out of the store, Jihoon cackling behind him.

They walk around for hours. Buy some bubble tea on the way, take some pictures next to random monuments, talk about idol friends' comebacks and compete over who knows more words in Spanish. When they walk past some anime stores, they go inside to check out the merch.

“I’m getting these for Seokmin,” Soonyoung says picking up some Digimon cards and Jihoon chooses a Portgas D. Ace figure for Seungcheol.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung says all of a sudden when they're on their way to pay and Jihoon turns around worriedly.

“What’s wrong?”

Soonyoung points at the shelf near them squealing quietly in a fake high voice. “It’s Seventeen!” Jihoon follows his gaze and sees their latest album and punches Soonyoung lightly, smiling. 

“Don’t make a scene.”

“Woahh! There aren’t a lot left,” Soonyoung points out. “Maybe we are pretty known in Spain.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this in public then,” Jihoon whispers in warning and Soonyoung nods quickly and before they go to the cash register he grabs an album anyway and the newest Shinee one, too.

“What are you doing?”

“Supporting our hard work,” he says casually and Jihoon feels his heart speed up nervously. “It’s fine, there are no faces on the cover,” it's a very weak argument. “Also I grabbed Shinee as a distraction.”

“A distraction… Sure,” Jihoon shakes his head but doesn't comment on it anymore staying nervous as hell while the cashier beeps through their things. She doesn’t seem to recognize them but Jihoon notices another cashier who has a mini bongbongie hanging off her name tag and Jihoon grabs Soonyoung’s forearm trying not to panic. Soonyoung glances perplexed at Jihoon but doesn’t say anything and only asks about it when they’re out of the store.

“One of the cashiers was a Carat,” Jihoon lets out a shuddered breath and shakes out his body and when he looks up at Soonyoung his eyes are wide and eager.

“Really! Should we say hi?!” Jihoon punches his arm. “Ow!”

“Are you kidding me? Nobody can know we’re here,” he says, panicked and a little frustrated at Soonyoung’s naivety. Soonyoung smiles apologetically and Jihoon lets out a frustrated sigh making his way down to the street to some arc Soonyoung wanted to see.

“Okay, okay,” Soonyoung says catching up. “I just got excited, I’m sorry! I wouldn’t actually go back,” he apologizes quickly. “Please let’s not fight while we’re here, Jihoon,” he adds voice softer and a little anxious and Jihoon’s eyes dart to him.

“We aren’t fighting,” Jihoon ensures him. “But take this situation more seriously.”

“I am! I feel like my entire life is on the line!” He says with wide eyes. “It’s not just us, too, all of Seventeen…” He adds and they both stop in the middle of the street a little terrified at the realization.

“Let’s just be more careful,” Jihoon says trying to calm himself down and Soonyoung nods. When they reach the Arc de Triumph their anxiety lessens and they even take a selfie with the monument in the background. They walk down to the beach after and talk about dumb things and laugh at a picture Seungkwan sends in the group chat and sit on the walkway facing the horizon to watch the orange sunset reflect on the water. People pack their blankets to go home and it's quiet enough that voices fade away to seagulls and waves crashing on the bay and Jihoon leans his head on Soonyoung’s shoulder and takes in the moment. The thing that’s great about Soonyoung is that despite being loud and talkative when nothing needs to be said he can be silent for hours and it’s never awkward but comfortable and relaxing to just be by his side. Jihoon loves that. He loves it even more when Soonyoung puts his arm around him and pulls him close.

When the sun hides itself behind the mountains behind them they take a cab to their hotel because walking for five hours is exhausting and while Jihoon lays around in bed checking emails, Soonyoung runs out for some snacks.

He comes back with two cokes, some random chips that taste of artificial bacon and two kinder surprise eggs and they eat them sloppily on the bed while deciding what to do in the evening.

“It’s weird, you know?” Soonyoung says licking his fingers clean. “I don’t think we’ve ever spent this much time just the two of us.”

“We’ve spent all day together before,” Jihoon reaches for some tissues on the bedside table and passes them to Soonyoung who smiles widely taking them. "And we've been to Busan."

“Yeah but now it’s literally just the two of us… There’s nobody else we know here,” Soonyoung explains as he wipes his hands. “I was a little nervous, to be honest,” he admits looking up at Jihoon with a shy smile. “But it’s pretty nice actually.”

“Nervous?” Jihoon asks. “Do I still make you nervous?” He smirks leaning back onto the pillows and Soonyoung blushes prettily.

“Not you exactly, but more worrying if things are going to be different if it’s just us two.”

Jihoon tilts his head. “And are they?”

“Not really,” Soonyoung grins softly and Jihoon feels his chest do that weird dipping thing when he realizes how lucky he is. “It’s nice. I love spending time with you.”

Jihoon watches him for a moment then spreads his arms lazily. “Come here,” he says and Soonyoung grins crawling over and letting Jihoon close his arms around his shoulders, leaning over him. “I love spending time with you, too,” he murmurs softly to him and lets Soonyoung peck him on the nose and then kiss him open-mouthed on the lips.

They kiss lazily for what feels like hours and Jihoon knows what Soonyoung meant because they could continue like that for hours and hours more and nobody would bother them and just that little freedom of being with Soonyoung is worth every risk they took to get here.

♡

They stop making out before they can go farther than kissing and the one last wet kiss Soonyoung gives him is a promise of something more later but for right now they’re both hungry and Soonyoung wants to watch some fountain show on the other side of the city.

The hotel orders a cab for them and Jihoon can’t stop marveling at how cheap taxis are there.

“Cabs are okay in Seoul,” Soonyoung says pointedly, lips still a little swollen from before. “You’re just a brat who chooses to take those fancy black cabs.”

“A brat?” Jihoon raises a brow.

“Who else takes cabs like that out of their own choice.”

“I like being comfortable.”

“You just want to find any opportunity to nap.”

“You know me so well,” Jihoon scrunches his nose cutely at him and Soonyoung grins back wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close. They’re walking along some random street and sure people pass by but realistically there is almost no chance someone will recognize them so Jihoon lets Soonyoung hold him like this.

“It’s weird,” Jihoon says, when he’s comfortably nestled by Soonyoung’s side. “My instinct is to push you away.”

“That’s very sad, Jihoonie,” Jihoon can hear the pout in his voice. “Is that really the way to treat your boyfriend?” Jihoon can’t help but blush when Soonyoung calls himself that. They’ve been together for years now sure but it’s still weird to think of Soonyoung as his boyfriend because nothing about their relationship feels normal enough to call him that and Jihoon thinks pleasantly that in this unknown city, where nobody knows who they are, they can walk closely like this and enjoy a simple moment of being in love. For these few days they can be each other’s boyfriends for real. 

Soonyoung feels Jihoon quiet down and probably knows why. He leans down and pulls off his mask to give Jihoon a kiss on his temple before he straightens out again and Jihoon feels like the happiest guy in the world.

They grab dinner at some small tapas place Google Maps recommends nearby and even both order glasses of wine that they almost send to Minghao but decide it’s too soon to reveal to their members the kind of risk they took without telling anyone. Nobody knows they’re together, but everyone who knows them well enough can see they’re close in a way that's different without needing to be vocal about it. Still, a whole impromptu trip to Europe is probably not something idols should do even if they are best friends.

“I feel like Minghao and Shua right now,” Soonyoung giggles over the top of his wine glass. “Too fancy.”

“I don’t even like wine,” Jihoon giggles back and Soonyoung nods rapidly.

“Right! Living our best fake fancy life.”

They end up ordering cokes because they don’t feel like drinking their wine and finish the dinner with a sweet berry cheesecake. Soonyoung pays for the bill as he’s been insisting to and they walk to the fountain show nearby. It’s completely dark outside now and it’s not so terrifying to lock their fingers together when they convince themselves that nobody is watching. By the time they reach the fountain it’s already spraying largely and colorfully in the air and the two stand quietly on the side, hidden in the shadows and Jihoon is brave enough to lean back against Soonyoung and let his boyfriend’s arms circle around his waist. 

Since earlier, there’s been a strange aura between them. They’re more hesitant yet touchy at the same time and they're both very aware about what’s coming when they get back to the hotel despite never actually discussing it. Jihoon can feel it through the warmth of Soonyoung’s chest against his back and the way Soonyoung's arms hold him tightly from behind and Jihoon, from his excitement, can’t help but press back.

They’re in public, both in their hoodies and masks, and Jihoon isn’t aware of their Spanish following but he’s sure that people won’t really pay attention to two men cuddling in the corner of the park especially with the fountain spraying its show. But still, he doesn’t feel too comfortable especially when Soonyoung’s touch is becoming less and less innocent as his hands roam from his waist to his torso up his arms and back down to pull him closer.

“We should go back,” Jihoon whispers, unable to focus on the fountain when he feels Soonyoung start rubbing his nose against his neck, his mask the only thing preventing kisses. “The fountain isn’t so interesting.” 

“Hmm,” Soonyoung agrees, running his hands down his arms and grabbing one of Jihoon’s hands to drag him as he starts walking away.

They take a cab to their hotel. It does take a few minutes for Soonyoung to communicate with the cab driver but within fifteen minutes they’re in the hotel elevator grinning nervously at each other and Jihoon can sense how strongly Soonyoung wants to reach for him but appreciates that they both wait until they’re in private. 

As soon as they enter the room, they both toe off their shoes, throw their jackets into some unknown corner of their little hallway and Soonyoung pulls his mask off reaching for Jihoon almost forgetting to take off the latter’s mask, too.

“Eager, as always,” Jihoon giggles when Soonyoung starts kissing him but Soonyoung stays serious even as he tries to pick Jihoon up. 

“I know we haven’t really talked about it,” Soonyoung says between wet kisses all over Jihoon’s neck as he presses him to the hallway wall. “But you know I’m not taking tonight for granted.”

Jihoon swallows, grabbing at Soonyoung’s hair as the latter devours his neckline. “We have some schedules next week, be careful,” he warns quietly and Soonyoung groans but his kisses seem to lighten. “Soonyoung,” Jihoon urges again trying to pull him off of himself for a moment. “Soonyoung stop for a second.”

Before Soonyoung lifts his head he leans his forehead on Jihoon’s shoulder and sighs. “Yes?” He asks when their eyes meet.

Jihoon licks his lips staring at Soonyoung, not really sure why he stopped him. Lack of air, maybe. He doesn't know. He opens his mouth thinking of something to say but then closes it and Soonyoung just keeps staring.

“Do you not want to…?” Soonyoung asks finally.

“I do,” Jihoon replies probably too quickly but maybe that way Soonyoung knows he means it. Soonyoung leans forward so their foreheads touch and his arms slip down so he can try to pick Jihoon up again as he stares right at him. This time Jihoon doesn’t try to wriggle away and when he’s up, back pressed against the wall and legs around Soonyoung’s waist he can feel Soonyoung almost hard against him and before Jihoon can properly react Soonyoung is kissing him again, pulling him off the wall and carrying him to the bed.

“I’ve wanted to do this,” Soonyoung breathes between kisses as he places Jihoon carefully on their bed, hovering above him. “For years.”

“Me too,” Jihoon answers. Living with thirteen boys who are basically all best friends there’s almost no privacy. Sure some sexual activities can be escaped with on little time or at the studio or even in the middle of the night when they’re rooming on tour… But sex… Maybe because they’re both new to this but there was never a moment that felt long or right enough. Until now.

Soonyoung sits back on Jihoon’s thighs and pulls him up to take off his shirt and then his own as well. Jihoon remembers back when they first started messing around like this, how much rounder Soonyoung’s belly was and his hands go out to touch Soonyoung’s current, still slightly soft but much leaner tummy and Soonyoung shudders when Jihoon’s hands slip up to brush at his nipples.

“Do we even know what we’re doing?” Jihoon whispers against his lips and Soonyoung giggles, a little unsure.

“I watched some videos.”

Jihoon leans back to get a good look at him. “Videos?”

“Well,” Soonyoung licks his swollen lips, eyes dark as his fingers brush softly against Jihoon’s cheeks. “Porn, mostly.”

“Fuck,” Jihoon laughs, his own hands squeezing at Soonyoung’s waist.

“Was I supposed to Google it?”

“Maybe?” 

“I wanted visual representation.” 

“Sex isn’t like porn, Soonyoung.”

“How would you know?” Jihoon ignores that.

“Don’t we...” Jihoon starts slowly after a short pause. They’ve calmed down a bit but their semi hard-ons are still pressed against each other and the night is definitely not done yet. “Need props or something…” He blushes, looking away. 

Soonyoung blinks at him then rolls off running to his bag on the other side of the room. While he’s rummaging through it, Jihoon stares at him from the bed, hands supporting him from behind and crotch double its usual size.

“When I went out for snacks,” Soonyoung says with a shy grin as he comes back with some items in his hands, “I got these too.” He sits on the bed putting the things in front of them. One is clearly a box of condoms and the other one is a small bottle and Jihoon doesn’t understand the Spanish on the label but it doesn’t take him long to figure out what it might be. “I thought getting these in Seoul is probably risky… I hope I got the right stuff.” 

“Please don’t tell me you asked the pharmacist for help,” Jihoon mumbles, feeling shy, horny and excited at the same time.

Soonyoung laughs airily, a little delirious with excitement himself, eyes definitely noticing Jihoon’s tent between his legs. “I’m not an idiot. I used Google Translate.”

“Genius,” Jihoon mutters reaching for Soonyoung and pulling him towards him to kiss him open-mouthed and deep.

“Are we really doing this?” Soonyoung whispers again leaning away and Jihoon nods eagerly.

“Please.”

They start off by kissing again. It’s not new to them, they’ve been doing it for years. Soonyoung sucks lightly on Jihoon’s tongue and Jihoon grazes his bottom lip with sharp canines and Soonyoung gasps into it just like Jihoon knew he would. It’s familiar. It’s home. There’s little Jihoon loves more than kissing Soonyoung.

They lean back slowly, until Jihoon’s is flat on the bed and Soonyoung is on top of him, groins touching occasionally and Soonyoung is getting familiarly excited with it, movements growing more intense and enthusiastic as Jihoon wraps his legs around his thighs. Since they’re already shirtless, Jihoon’s hands roam endlessly around Soonyoung’s torso, while Soonyoung uses one hand to prop himself and the other to slip down to touch Jihoon over his clothes. 

“Take your pants off,” he growls into his mouth.

“You too,” Jihoon moans back lifting his hips pointedly. They separate for a moment, Jihoon undoing Soonyoung’s pants and pulling his pants down along with his underwear and Jihoon has seen Soonyoung’s dick before, hell, he even tasted it but tonight… He moans out loud when he sees it and Soonyoung laughs flipping onto his back to pull down his pants more easily. When he turns around Jihoon’s pants are already off too and he smirks about to say something but Jihoon shuts him up with a kiss. Making out naked is endlessly more sensitive and Jihoon definitely isn't very used to this. Soonyoung isn’t either because he keeps cursing every time their dicks brush against each other until he moans leaning away.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he whines. “I’m going to come just like this.” 

“Go ahead,” Jihoon sighs taking hold of his dick and stroking it with the precum already there. “We have all night.” 

“Don’t be like that,” he whines again. “I want to fuck you, Jihoonie,” he says in his familiar cutesy voice.

“When you say it like that…” Jihoon quickens his pace and Soonyoung’s head drops onto his shoulder.

“Fuck, stop, I'm serious—I wanna have sex,” he breathes out even though his hips are working in tandem with Jihoon’s pace but Jihoon stops anyway because it’s what Soonyoung wants. When he does, Soonyoung grabs his face and kisses him so intensely he’s practically just pushing his own face against his and Jihoon pulls him closer with his legs once again wrapped around his waist.

“Okay, okay,” Soonyoung pulls away, wincing because his hard-on is too sensitive and all Jihoon can do is just lay there, waiting eagerly for whatever comes next. Soonyoung reaches for bottle and they both stare at it in silence.

“I gotta stretch you out,” Soonyoung says dumbly, growing shy again. 

“Why me?” Jihoon doesn’t mind having Soonyoung fuck him if anything it’s all he’s thought about for months and months and maybe even years, but seeing how flustered Soonyoung gets is worth it.

Soonyoung opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. “Um, do you want to fuck me instead?” He asks and despite his voice being all nervous and shaky, it’s somehow the sexiest suggestion he’s ever offered. 

_Hell yeah_ , Jihoon thinks. “Do me first,” he says instead. “Then I fuck you.”

Soonyoung visibly swallows at that and immediately tries opening the bottle with quick and shaky fingers. “Fuck,” he grits out when the lid won’t budge and Jihoon leans up to help him when the bottle bursts open and lube spills all over Soonyoung’s hand. Jihoon’s about to laugh when Soonyoung throws aside the bottle and pushes Jihoon down with a clean hand. “Let’s make sure we have enough time to have you inside of me too, okay?” He tells a blinking Jihoon and Jihoon really can’t argue with that proposition. He spreads his legs open. When he realizes where Soonyoung’s fingers are about to go, he clasps his thighs closed again.

“Jihoon?” Soonyoung looks at him warily. “I can’t reach your butthole like this.” Jihoon covers his face and groans.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“That’s just how it is. Where else am I gonna put it?”

Jihoon spreads his fingers and watches Soonyoung through the empty spaces. “I went number two this morning," he says quietly.

“And did you wipe your ass clean?” Soonyoung’s brow rises and Jihoon blushes.

“Of course!”

“Then spread your legs.”

Jihoon laughs once and Soonyoung doesn’t, staring at him, waiting. “Jihoon. My hand is literally dripping for you right now. Do you want this or not? Do you want me to go first? I can do that,” he says all too quickly and raises on his knees hand going behind his back and Jihoon stops him.

“Ok, ok! Wow, shit, okay just do it,” he can’t believe how hard that just made him and spreads his legs immediately, hands grabbing at the sheets beside him. “Have you done this before?”

“On myself?” Soonyoung’s grinning from Jihoon’s little tantrum.

Jihoon swallows. “Yeah.”

“I’ve tried in the shower, but it’s hard without… the proper equipment.”

“Right,” Jihoon sighs, feeling Soonyoung’s clean hand spreading his ass cheeks and his lubed fingers feeling for his hole.

“This could be easier if you’re on your fours but,” Soonyoung’s eyes meet Jihoon’s. “I wanna see the faces you make when i'm inside of you.” Before Jihoon can reply Soonyoung’s finger is slipping slowly inside and Jihoon throws his head back letting out a mix of a sigh and a groan. “Does it hurt?” Soonyoung asks immediately, finger in almost entirely.

It doesn’t hurt, per se, but it’s weird and seems a little strange yet so right at the same time.

“Move,” Jihoon grits out and Soonyoung does, slowly, feeling the inside of Jihoon for himself. “Add another,” Jihoon tells him and Soonyoung slowly slips another finger in, asking Jihoon if he’s okay when he starts letting out short heavy breaths. “I’m fine,” he’s staring at the ceiling, blinking away tears. It hurts a little and he’s a little worried how it’s going to be with an entire dick inside of him but he has wanted this for too long to stop now. Soonyoung spreads his fingers inside of him, stretching him out, and Jihoon has to close his eyes, teeth gritting so he won’t make noise.

“Jihoon,” he hears softly right above of him and opens his eyes slowly. “You’re crying.”

“No, I’m not,” he says with difficulty and the expression on Soonyoung’s face almost breaks his heart. “I’m fine Soonyoung,” he promises. “It’s just weird, okay? You’ll see what I mean later,” he tries smirking but he’s sure it doesn’t look convincing because Soonyoung’s fingers still inside of him.

“I can’t watch myself do this to you,” he says, voice as quiet as a whisper.

“Trust me it’s worse when you stop,” Jihoon says, hand going up to Soonyoung’s cheek. “Just keep moving. I want this so much, Soonyoung, trust me.” He means it whole heartedly and Soonyoung knows him well enough to see that so his fingers spread and close inside of him at a slow pace.

"Just breathe, Jihoon," he whispers while he kisses Jihoon softly on his lips, chin, cheeks, and all over his face. "Relax." Jihoon closes his eyes taking it all in.

“Another,” he says after a few minutes when he feels like he’s used to the pain. After Soonyoung slips the third finger in it’s not so bad anymore and Jihoon opens his mouth smiling at him. “It’s better now.”

“Promise?” Soonyoung asks and Jihoon nods, smiling wider.

“It’s starting to feel good,” he isn’t lying. Maybe it’s the pressure of three fingers or maybe the fact that Soonyoung’s pace is constant and relaxing but Jihoon even lifts his ass slightly making Soonyoung laugh.

“Eager,” he mutters and Jihoon pulls his face down so Soonyoung can kiss him.

“Fuck,” he says, their lips brushing against each as Soonyoung spreads his fingers carefully inside of him again and gradually increasing his pace. “So good,” Jihoon sighs, eyes closing. “That’s so fucking good, Soonyoung,” he says again and Soonyoung whines.

“Please look at me,” he begs and Jihoon opens his eyes and smiles lazily at him. Soonyoung’s eyes above him are sharp and entirely concentrated on him and Jihoon wonders off-handedly if this is what he looks like from the stage and decides that he’d actually rather have this look just for himself. “Fuck,” Soonyoung groans, his fingers pushing inside of him. “You look so fucking hot like this, you’re always beautiful but–“ he kisses him and pushes his fingers so deep inside of him that they graze something entirely new and Jihoon’s head falls back letting out a loud moan.

“Do that again,” he says, still seeing white.

“What? Did I find it?!” Soonyoung grins trying to do the same thing again and he does and Jihoon’s dick twitches so hard it releases some precum.

“I’m–” he gasps. “I won’t last, you gotta put it in.”

“Fuck, okay,” Soonyoung is grinning nervously now and reaches for the condoms with his free hand.

“Do we need those?” Jihoon whimpers surprised at how whiny he sounds. “We’ve never had sex before and we’re each other’s firsts.”

Soonyoung swallows. “Shouldn’t we be safe?”

“I won’t get pregnant, Soonyoung.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I’m clean. This is my first time. It’s yours too, right?”

“Of course!” Soonyoung says too loudly and Jihoon smiles.

“So let’s just do it without.”

“It’s gonna make a mess.”

“We’re going to make a mess anyway,” Jihoon says pointedly and Soonyoung sighs.

“Whatever you want,” he says finally, slowly taking his fingers out of Jihoon and Jihoon sighs from the loss of sensation. “You’re the boss.”

Jihoon giggles, a little delirious, hands going up to Soonyoung’s face to pull him in for a kiss again. Fuck, he thinks, he really will never grow tired of kissing him. “I love you,” he whispers against Soonyoung’s lips and watches his lower lip twitch like it always does when Jihoon tells him.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs softly, forehead lowering against Jihoon’s. “So much. Seriously. I’m so happy, I feel like my heart will explode.”

Jihoon feels himself smile, arms wrapping around Soonyoung’s neck pulling him close. He remembers the first time he saw Soonyoung eight years ago, through the small studio window dancing for his audition, big cheeked and enthusiastic about everything even then. He remembers learning choreography with him, competing internally to see who will improve the quickest until Soonyoung suggested he practices composition to improve his dancing sense and unintentionally opened a whole new world for him. He remembers falling in love with Soonyoung, slowly, until it’s two years after they debuted and they’re writing _Hurricane_ and choreographing _With Me_ together and the feelings Jihoon has for Soonyoung start morphing into something new and terrifying. He remembers the first time they kissed, too, in their Chicago hotel room during tour after Soonyoung, sick and delirious, confessed to him in LA and Jihoon waited until he gets better to kiss him and tell him he feels the same.

It’s been almost another two years since then and they’re older now and maybe a little wiser and slightly more experienced in various ways but still not everywhere it matters because it takes Soonyoung a few times to actually slip his dick in Jihoon while they giggle like fools, breaths mingling together. When Soonyoung is finally inside it hurts and Jihoon’s nails leave deep crescents in Soonyoung’s shoulders. The pain dissipates as soon as he starts moving and it’s good again and when Jihoon’s eyes open to meet Soonyoung’s everything, _everything_ is worth this moment. 

“Good?” Soonyoung asks, clearly straining himself to keep his pace.

“Amazing,” Jihoon replies and Soonyoung sighs. 

“Fuck, I know,” he laughs again leaning back a little to pull Jihoon’s legs tighter around his waist and lowering once again above him, one hand remaining on his waist while the other props itself by Jihoon’s head. “Now I know what people mean when they say tight. It’s like I’ve got one big hand gripping my dick and I’m doing all the work.” 

“All the work, huh?” Jihoon watches Soonyoung through half closed eyes.

“You’re perfect just like this,” Soonyoung smiles and Jihoon lifts his hips meeting Soonyoung’s thrusts. “Oh fuck,” Soonyoung lowers himself. “That’s good. Let’s do it like that.”

“Nah,” Jihoon smiles lazily. “Maybe I kind of want to see you do all the work,” he lets his fingers travel up Soonyoung’s torso, brushing against all the sensitive places on his chest. “Everyone knows how much you love your thrusting dance moves,” he adds with a short giggle. “Show me what you got.”

“Oh fuck baby, I was born ready for this,” Soonyoung growls against his lips and Jihoon can’t believe how much one ‘baby’ gets his dick throbbing. “Are you good if I go quicker?”

“Please,” Jihoon whispers.

“Okay,” Soonyoung smirks, forehead shining with sweat. “Tell me if it hurts, okay?” Jihoon nods just once before Soonyoung’s grip on his waist tightens and he starts moving his hips quicker with every thrust. _Fuck your hips_ , is all Jihoon’s mind is able to process right now. So many years of putting those thrusts in almost every single one of his choreographies it’s almost like Soonyoung was preparing himself for this moment because every thrust is precise and digs his dick deep inside of Jihoon until he hits the spot from before several times in a row and Jihoon is too delirious to be aware of just how much noise he’s making.

“Faster,” he grits out and Soonyoung chuckles above him, grunting.

“Are you sure?” He asks, out of breath. “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”

“Does it look like it hurts?!” This is the best Jihoon’s ever felt, he doesn’t even need to touch his dick he thinks, he might come just like this

Soonyoung licks his lips, grinning at him. “You’re very demanding,” he laughs and Jihoon starts trying to move his hips to meet each one of Soonyoung’s thrusts.

“I wanna try something,” he breathes out. He’s been close for quite some time now but he can’t help but picture another position in his mind and if they only got these two nights for god knows how long... “Let’s flip.”

Soonyoung almost stops. “What?”

“I want to be on top.”

“What?” Soonyoung repeats dumbly.

“I want to try riding you,” Jihoon pushes his chest lightly. “Turn us around.” Soonyoung blinks once but grabs Jihoon tightly to flip them around without slipping out of him. When Jihoon is on top, he feels Soonyoung deeper and he sighs, smiling down at him.

“You’re killing me,” Soonyoung watches him with wide eyes. “You should see yourself.”

“You should see _yourself_ ,” Jihoon grins and starts raising and lowering himself on Soonyoung’s dick slowly, Soonyoung’s hands gripping his thighs. He isn’t joking, Soonyoung with his sharp tiger eyes trained hungrily at him and sweat glistening all over his body it’s really… Something. Their eyes locked together is really something too and Jihoon only looks away when he throws his head back because he feels himself getting close.

“I’m almost-“ he sighs and Soonyoung grabs his dick in understanding and starts pumping him in time with his thrusts and Jihoon hears himself get loud again but he doesn’t even care because he’s so fucking close, he’s right on the edge, and when he quickly reaches down to pull Soonyoung up by his neck and kiss him while he rides his dick it only takes a few more thrusts before he’s coming all over Soonyoung’s fingers and chest and he sighs with groan into his mouth.

“I’m flipping you back,” Soonyoung warns to a blissfully delirious Jihoon and before Jihoon knows it he’s on his back again and Soonyoung is thrusting heavily and deeply into him which is just as good as the actual sex especially with the post-orgasm sensitivity.

“I’m so close,” Soonyoung whines.

“Good,” Jihoon sighs feeling limp as Soonyoung continues to fuck him. “Come on, come for me,” he smirks lazily and when he realizes Soonyoung is about to take his dick out he stops him. “No, inside of me,” Soonyoung can only nod as he grips his waist hard with two hands, raising his ass up and thrusting inside of him a few more times before he lowers and buries his face into Jihoon’s neck when he comes groaning loudly and the feeling of Soonyoung filling him is strange and almost… cooling.

Soonyoung doesn’t move for almost a minute until Jihoon raises a finger to poke him on the cheek and feels Soonyoung start peppering his neck with kisses all the way down his shoulder and finishing with a few open mouthed kisses on his collar bone and then back up to his mouth.

“Amazing,” he sighs. “God I love you so much,” he says between kisses, “I love you so fucking much.” Jihoon smiles, fingers carding through Soonyoung’s hair and feels like his heart is too small for his chest.

They kiss lazily for a few minutes before Soonyoung realizes his dick is still limp, inside of Jihoon, and pulls out slowly watching intensely as Jihoon shivers from the loss of sensation especially when the excess of Soonyoung’s cum starts dribbling out of his asshole.

“What’s so funny?” Soonyoung asks when Jihoon giggles airily.

“It tickles,” he says with a small grin. “Your cum inside of me.” Soonyoung looks at him incredulously, still high from his own orgasm and shakes his head. “Is it my turn now?” Jihoon asks all of a sudden and can almost literally see Soonyoung’s brain short-circuit.

“Already?” He chokes out.

“You didn’t have to just lay here while getting fucked,” Jihoon says pointedly. “I’m almost hard again.”

“Don’t you want a break?”

Jihoon pokes his forehead. “Is this really Soonyoung? Soonyoung who runs around the entire stage on the fourth concert day in a row and has stamina till the last second of every show?” Jihoon teases with a raised brow. “Don’t you wanna get fucked by me, Soonyoungie?” He mocks in Soonyoung’s Jihoonie voice and the speed with which Soonyoung’s eyes darken is exhilarating.

“Okay,” he says almost whispering and kisses Jihoon one more time before rolling off of him and spreading his legs as he passes the lube to Jihoon. “Be my guest.”

“I kinda wanna see how you do it,” he says, biting at his lower lip. “Stretch yourself I mean.”

“Don’t you want to try?”

“I will,” he grins and Soonyoung’s brows scrunch for a moment but he doesn’t argue against it. He opens the bottle again, this time much more easily, and spreads lube over his fingers. Jihoon watches his glistening fingers with hungry eyes and when the hand disappears behind his back he watches Soonyoung’s face instead.

“It’s weird,” Soonyoung mutters, wincing slightly. “When you stare at me like that.”

“You look so good,” Jihoon says simply and reaches out with one hand to rub against Soonyoung’s nipples as Soonyoung feels for his hole. When his breath hitches Jihoon isn’t sure from whose touch but when Soonyoung groans, it’s clear that he’s gotten one finger in and Jihoon feels himself harden slowly watching Soonyoung getting himself off like this.

“How does it feel?” He asks, moving closer to Soonyoung.

“Good,” he mumbles, head squished against the pillow. “Can’t wait to you have you inside of me,” he smirks and Jihoon grins back.

“Me too,” he says letting one of his hands roam down to Soonyoung’s dick to jerk him off lazily. “Add another,” he tells him and Soonyoung does immediately, wincing slightly. “Does it hurt?”

“It’s fine,” Soonyoung’s breathing grows heavier with each second. “It helps that you’re jerking me off. Distracting.” Jihoon increases his pace then and Soonyoung moans. “I’m adding another,” he says and Jihoon frowns.

“It's not too fast?”

“I can’t wait,” he mutters back and Jihoon can see how fast his fingers are pumping inside of himself and almost laughs at how familiarly eager Soonyoung is even now. “Tell me how you want to fuck me,” Soonyoung says, breathing heavily and Jihoon’s hand stutters its pace.

“What do you mean?”

“Will you ride me? Fuck into me? Have me on all fours? I want to hear all about Lee Jihoon’s fantasies,” Soonyoung smirks, half of his face buried in his pillow.

“And you’re asking only now?”

“I’m excited,” he grins. “Come on,” he says through heavy breaths. “I know you’ve thought about it.”

Of course he’s fucking thought about it. Touched himself countless times thinking about it. But now that the moment is here… He doesn’t know. He just wants to be with Soonyoung.

“My favorite is all fours,” he admits finally and Soonyoung snickers.

“As expected,” when their eyes meet, Soonyoung’s are glassy and dark. “Controlling bastard.”

Jihoon pointedly squeezes his dick at that and Soonyoung gasps, laughing. “I think I’m ready. You can let go,” he says taking his own fingers out of him slowly. “Ahh,” he sighs leaning up onto a shaky forearm. “Getting fucked by Jihoonie~ I’m so lucky.”

“Are you trying to annoy me on purpose?” Jihoon frowns.

“That look you get when you’re subtly annoyed but deeply endeared,” Soonyoung’s eyes are slightly hidden by his sweaty bangs and Jihoon tries to imprint this look in his mind forever. “I love it.”

“Stay on your back,” Jihoon says ignoring Soonyoung’s comment. Soonyoung plops down easily, staring up at Jihoon, legs spread wide for him.

“I was expecting to go on my knees,” Soonyoung is flushed almost delirious, eyes fluttering closed when Jihoon strokes him a few last time before letting go and placing himself between Soonyoung’s legs.

“I also want to see the kind of faces you’ll make. You’ve always been good with expressions,” he tells him softly, one hand brushing Soonyoung’s sweaty fringe from his forehead while the other strokes himself a few times before he reaches for the lube. “You ready?” He asks Soonyoung and Soonyoung nods subtly, teeth grazing his bottom lip.

Naturally they’ve gone past making out. There were a lot of late night hand jobs and even some blowjobs thrown in but this… This is new. Being inside of Soonyoung is new. The heat of it. The tightness. It’s nothing he’s ever felt before. He gets what Soonyoung meant now when he said it feels like his entire dick is engulfed in something tight and warm and the way he slowly fills Soonyoung and watches his head tilt back and mouth open in a silent gasp adds to it all. 

“You okay?” Jihoon gasps out when he’s completely inside, one hand under Soonyoung’s thigh while the other steadies himself by Soonyoung’s hip.

“Fuuuuuck,” Soonyoung breathes out. “You better start moving.” Jihoon doesn’t need to be told twice he pushes Soonyoung’s thigh up and thrusts a few times slowly before he increases the speed when he sees Soonyoung enjoying it.

Soonyoung is loud. Where Jihoon let only a few moans slip, Soonyoung is vocal about receiving every thrust, his head thrown back uttering loud gasps and moans. 

“You won’t shut up,” Jihoon is out of breath for multiple reasons. “All this noise… How much porn have you seen?”

Soonyoung tilts his head forward to meet Jihoon’s eyes, a lazy fucked out smile on his red face. “Enough,” then he pulls the leg Jihoon is holding towards himself and straightens it out. “Put it over your shoulder,” he tells him and Jihoon does, marveling at how easily Soonyoung can stretch out. Soonyoung moans again, eyes closing. “Okay, yes, good,” he nods weakly his eyes practically rolling into the back of his head when Jihoon tries stretching him further. “Fuck, yes, okay, okay, so close I swear,” he won’t shut up, continuously moaning out the words and Jihoon can only go quicker because as much as he can talk about Soonyoung’s mouth never shutting up he loves the encouragement. As soon as he speeds up Soonyoung lets out a louder moan if that was even possible and gasps out, “Prostate.” 

“What?”

“That s-spot,” his eyes are squeezed shut but clearly not in pain. “Yes, fuck, Ji-! You’re so good,” he looks at him, eyes just dark slits. “How are you so good at everything? Fuck,” he whines cutely. Jihoon notices he has slipped his hand between them to start stroking himself and immediately rushes to do it himself but Soonyoung pushes his hand away.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon grunts out and tightens his hold on Soonyoung which only seems to excite him even more because he smiles, lip caught between his teeth.

“You like watching me touch myself,” Soonyoung’s voice is strained and rasp and Jihoon gets the sudden urge to reach out for his phone and record it. “Enjoy the view,” Soonyoung adds with his lazy smile. His sex smile. He could write a whole fucking album about it.

Soonyoung isn’t wrong, too. Soonyoung getting off sure is a view. Jihoon kind of wishes he was the one completely responsible for how fucked out Soonyoung looks right now, but he guesses pounding into him isn’t too bad either.

“I’m close,” Soonyoung says closing his eyes and Jihoon leans closer.

“Ey, ey,” he rasps out. “Wait for me, won’t you?”

Soonyoung opens one of his eyes only to find Jihoon right by his face and Jihoon can only marvel because at this angle Soonyoung is basically doing the splits and he has no reaction to it at all. When their eyes meet Jihoon leans down completely to kiss him and the angle must get to Soonyoung’s prostate again because he moans loudly into his mouth and digs his nails into Jihoon’s arm.

“Fuck, Jihoon, you can’t be this good first time,” he whines and Jihoon can’t help but giggle between open mouths kisses into his neck. He vaguely realizes his hips are getting tired but this rhythm feels too good. Somewhere right before the edge and consistent enough that it could feel this good for a while before he actually comes.

“I’m close,” Soonyoung whispers again the hand that's not on his dick running through Jihoon’s hair and Jihoon can’t leave Soonyoung’s neck alone until Soonyoung – between moans – reminds him of schedules. 

Jihoon grabs his leg tighter then, giving up. “Fine,” he grunts out, stretching pushing Soonyoung’s leg almost over his head. “But let go of yourself,” he adds, slowing his pace. “The only one making you come is me.”

Soonyoung watches him for a second, his eyes almost closed and smiles lazily letting go of himself and putting his hands by his head.

“There you go,” he says, still smiling and Jihoon tightens his hold. “All yours.”

Jihoon lets out a chuckle and kisses Soonyoung, practically pushing his face against his. “All mine, huh?” He says softly into his mouth and before Soonyoung can say anything else Jihoon speeds up enough that Soonyoung has to grab onto his shoulders simply to hold on.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Soonyoung curses, eyes closing and opening and then he laughs because their whole bed is shaking and Jihoon doesn’t care, putting all his energy into his hips and his grip on Soonyoung’s dick to make his boyfriend come.

He does eventually. With a loud groan and a million _I love you'_ s muttered into Jihoon’s neck while Jihoon takes a few more thrusts to come inside of him.

They can’t move for a few minutes after. Jihoon on top of Soonyoung and Soonyoung’s hand running smoothly through Jihoon’s hair. It’s too perfect like this. Soonyoung’s warm chest against his, soft whispers close to his ear, and Jihoon’s own hands caressing the smooth skin over his ribs. 

“It was worth the wait, don’t you think?” Soonyoung says quietly. Jihoon can hear the smirk in his voice but he doesn’t mind it. He squeezes his arms under Soonyoung and hugs him close. “Ahh,” Soonyoung sighs happily. “Did I finally unlock cuddly Jihoonie?”

Jihoon tilts his head up to look up just to find Soonyoung already smiling at him.

“It was worth every second,” Jihoon tells him simply and Soonyoung’s smile brightens. Jihoon loves his smile so much. He opens his mouth to tell him that and more but pauses.

“Say it,” Soonyoung tells him and Jihoon looks away, laying his forehead in the middle of Soonyoung’s chest.

“Say what?” He mutters even though he knows what Soonyoung wants to hear.

“If you say it I’ll let you fuck me again,” Soonyoung snickers and Jihoon pinches his back lightly. Soonyoung sighs and retreats his hands from Jihoon’s hair pushing his shoulders lightly. “I don’t want your cum drying inside of me,” he tells him when Jihoon won’t move and Jihoon moves off of him without a word watching Soonyoung sit up. “I can feel it moving.” 

Jihoon smiles. “It’s weird right?”

“It’s messy. This is why i bought condoms,” Soonyoung frowns. “Should we call room service? I just felt everything spill out of me.” 

Jihoon laughs at that and reaches for the phone to call the receptionist to ask for new sheets. It’s a little past midnight but they also manage to order some fruit plate as a snack since the kitchens are officially closed.

When the room service comes Jihoon pulls on sweatpants to receive it and he and Soonyoung change the sheets together before sitting down to eat, some random movie playing in the background.

“I could go out to get some ramen packs if you want,” Soonyoung says when he notices Jihoon is barely eating instead laying back on the bed, his fingers tracing shapes on Soonyoung’s leg. Soonyoung has put on a pair of boxers which Jihoon finds a little upsetting.

“I’m okay,” he says, watching how his touch raises goosebumps along Soonyoung’s thigh.

“Can you believe we just had sex?” Soonyoung says then, with a small giggle.

“It was bound to happen,” Jihoon remarks casually and Soonyoung tilts his head.

“Don’t pretend like it isn’t a big deal to you mister _With Me_.”

Jihoon smiles at that and tries to pull Soonyoung down into a kiss but the latter refuses.

“Eat this first,” he says placing a grape to his lips and Jihoon makes sure his lips brush against Soonyoung’s fingertips when he does. Soonyoung traps his lower lip between his teeth and feeds Jihoon another grape. And another. And a strawberry too, making Jihoon chase the juice down Soonyoung's finger. He gets fed some other fruit too until Jihoon is giggling as he grabs his wrist and holds it tight sucking on Soonyoung’s fingers for a few long seconds before he lets go.

“Will you kiss me now?” He smirks, marveling at Soonyoung’s darkened eyes.

“I’ll do more than just kiss you,” Soonyoung says leaning down and for the rest of the night stays true to his word.

♡

The morning after isn’t awkward. It’s perfect.

They wake up groggy and happy, naked bodies entwined and sure they’ve woken up in bed together before when Vernon had schedule abroad or they roomed on tour, but never after a night that meant so much.

“Can we not go anywhere today?” Jihoon mutters burying his face into Soonyoung’s shoulder. Soonyoung cards his fingers absentmindedly through Jihoon’s hair for a couple of minutes, eyes still closed, and finally hums twice in denial.

“We leave tomorrow morning,” Jihoon can hear the pout in his voice. “I wanna see the city.”

Groaning, Jihoon rolls off of Soonyoung and whines like a baby. “This is why we shouldn’t travel together. You can’t stay in one place for more than six hours while this is the only sleep I’m getting for the next three months.”

He hears Soonyoung shift on the bed before his hand is on his shoulder and he’s hovering above him despite Jihoon facing the other way. “I always thought post-sex Jihoonie will be a little more pleasant than this.”

“Just a little?”

“I couldn’t raise my expectations too much,” Soonyoung snickers and Jihoon opens one eye to look sideways at Soonyoung.

“If we stay in bed I’ll make it worth your time,” Jihoon suggests.

Soonyoung grins. “Spending any time with you is worth my time,” he says meaningfully and Jihoon groans, giving up. “I just wanna see one museum! There’s this famous park, too! We can watch the sunset from the top of the hill!” 

“Are we going to be out all day?” Jihoon whines and Soonyoung grins again, almost apologetically but not guilty enough to change his mind.

“We have all night for other things,” Soonyoung promises. “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me,” he adds in a suggestive murmur and Jihoon narrows the eye watching him. 

“You have too much energy.”

“And you have too little enthusiasm.”

“I’m the one suggesting we spend all day together _in bed_ ,” he emphasizes, turning onto his back as Soonyoung watches him, head propped on his palm. He has that weird knowing smile on his face and Jihoon hates that they both know Jihoon will give in anyway.

While Jihoon pouts, Soonyoung raises his free hand and lays it on the center of Jihoon’s exposed chest, not in a suggestive way, but just to rest it warmly above his heart as if to feel it beating underneath.

“I want to spend the day with you outside because we never get to,” he says, smiling warmly but his eyes look a little sad. “I want to hold your hand and see the city with you and have this memory of us together. I want to feel like our relationship is real for once because today it can be,” he adds his smile disappearing and Jihoon doesn’t know what to say but he knows what Soonyoung means and it twists his heart uncomfortably. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make things… heavy,” he smiles shyly and Jihoon lays his hand over Soonyoung’s and squeezes it.

“Fine,” Jihoon sighs, eyes closing. “We’ll go to your stupid museum.” When he opens his eyes Soonyoung is grinning down at him and Jihoon can’t help but feel proud for causing him that happiness. “Can I shower first?”

“We can even shower together,” Soonyoung says, innocent grin turning into a much less innocent smirk, as his face lowers to rub their noses together and Jihoon closes the distance, lips brushing against his.

“You should’ve said so from the start.”

♡

Their shower takes up most of their morning until they remember food is only served until eleven and they rush downstairs with only ten minutes left. They spend breakfast drinking iced coffees and eating the last pastries left on the buffet and sitting close enough on the couch that their shoulders and thighs press warmly together.

It’s incredible like this, Jihoon thinks. To feel this comfortable with Soonyoung, hands entwined on top of Soonyoung’s thigh as Soonyoung tries his best to eat with his left hand refusing to let go of Jihoon. To be able to lean forward when Soonyoung’s egg yolk drips down his bottom lip and kiss it away. To not stop laughing and to feel like the happiest person in the world to the point that it’s terrifying.

They take a cab to the museum after they’re done. They’re wearing masks and caps again just to be safe but there are so many tourists there that nobody really pays attention to them. They even hold hands a little in the ticket line and Jihoon loves the way Soonyoung’s eyes turn into happy crescents above his mask when their fingers entwine. Maybe if he was a little more brave Jihoon would lean up and kiss him but there are some things that need more getting used to.

The museum is boring but Soonyoung is excited about literally everything right now that Jihoon doesn’t have the heart to tell him. Plus, when they find a hidden alcove Soonyoung presses him against the wall to kiss him stupid right there in the middle of some Modern Art section Jihoon isn’t even paying attention to, he thinks he can bear the museum for a little while longer.

They hold hands the entire time sometimes it’s just the palms connected, sometimes it’s just the fingers, but mostly their hands stay pressed together and Jihoon has to calm his heart each time Soonyoung’s glances softly at him. He thinks he knows what Soonyoung meant now. He can’t explain it exactly but he feels finally after years together that they are more than just two boys who kiss occasionally in a dark studio when nobody will walk in but instead two boys who are very much in love. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Soonyoung asks when they sit on the top stairs of a resting area shaped like an auditorium far from anyone else, with drinks and a snack Soonyoung bought for them. Soonyoung’s hand raises to tuck some lose strands of Jihoon’s hair back into his cap and Jihoon leans into the touch.

“Just thinking about what you said this morning,” Jihoon admits, lowering his mask so it’s easier to speak and Soonyoung does the same.

“In bed or in the shower?” He smirks and Jihoon pinches his forearm but smiles too.

“About our relationship not feeling real,” Jihoon says after a pause and Soonyoung’s smile softens, understanding. He takes one of Jihoon’s hands dangling off his knee and brings it up to his mouth, kissing the back of it and if someone were to look up at them from bellow they’d see him do it and Jihoon strangely doesn’t care.

“I think there’s no point of thinking about it,” Soonyoung says finally, their hands still entwined but now resting on his knee. “Can we really change anything? If I told you let’s run away so we can be a real couple somewhere, would you do it?”

“Of course not,” Jihoon says immediately. It just isn’t an option.

“I feel the same,” Soonyoung grins cutely but his eyes are serious. It still surprises Jihoon how Soonyoung can masterfully do that, be two completely different things at the same time. “But I want this, too,” he adds. “A lot.”

Jihoon squeezes his hand. “Me too.”

“So let’s enjoy this tiny freedom to the fullest, okay?” Soonyoung tilts his head searching Jihoon’s eyes. “Even if not always like this,” he puts another hand on top of theirs already entwined, “you still have me.”

“And you have me,” Jihoon mutters self-consciously making Soonyoung smile wide and sigh happily.

“I know you hate it when I tell you this,” Soonyoung’s voice lowers into a soft hush as if he’s about to tell him some deep dark secret and Jihoon can’t help but lean in to him. “But I’m so in love with you,” he says all in one breath watching Jihoon with a gaze so penetrating it almost makes him want to curl into himself.

“I don’t hate it,” he whispers back. “I don’t hate anything you do.” Soonyoung laughs airily and it tickles Jihoon’s lips and Jihoon can’t help but lean forward to kiss him in the open auditorium with people walking downstairs, behind them, and on the stairs nearby. After a beat he raises his free hand to settle it on Soonyoung’s warm cheek so nobody would really see what they’re doing and sighs happily when Soonyoung opens his mouth to kiss him back. They only kiss for a few minutes, but when Soonyoung leans away he’s all red and Jihoon’s gaze is glued to his lips.

“I’ll want to kiss you all the time now,” he mutters unable to look up and watches Soonyoung’s teeth poke out in a small smile.

“You don’t usually?” Soonyoung snickers and Jihoon can’t help but chase the laughter with his lips.

“It feels different,” he says when he pulls away again. “Now I know all of you,” he looks up to meet Soonyoung’s eyes. “You’re hard to resist.”

“Are you allergic to complimenting me back home or something?” Soonyoung asks incredulously. “Where’s all this coming from?”

Jihoon kisses him again. “While you were looking at your boring pictures I was thinking of all the things we can do tonight,” he murmurs against Soonyoung’s lips and watches them purse.

“Boring pictures? If this is your way of trying to get back to the hotel sooner it won’t work.”

Jihoon sighs leaning away, hand dropping onto his own thigh. “Fine. What do you want to do then?”

They take a cab to a different part of the city and Jihoon isn’t that confused about European locations to not recognize their destination as that one famous garden of that one famous artist.

“Gaudi,” Soonyoung tells him when he notices Jihoon staring at the gates funny.

“Hmmm,” Jihoon nods, eyes squinting against the sun. Soonyoung takes his hand and leads them to the entrance taking out his phone to show the guard their online tickets. “Planned everything ahead, didn’t you?”

“Oh sorry, did you want to stand in line?” Soonyoung asks mockingly and Jihoon simply tugs his hand down a little which makes Soonyoung grab his even tighter.

They walk around for an hour or so and take some aesthetic pictures for the Instagrams they don’t have but simply to have the memories. They find an alcove too, somewhere within the garden where there are no people and Soonyoung miraculously convinces them to take a couple photo, kissing him on the cheek when the selfie is taken, and Jihoon is slightly overwhelmed by it all that Soonyoung starts to apologize.

“I won’t show these photos to anyone, you know?” He says quickly. “Just for us. The pleasant memories. If one day we’re still together and the world is a better place, you know? We’ll have these photos to remind us of times that were harder but we still perse-“

Jihoon cuts him off with a kiss because Soonyoung is too good at uttering out their dreams and wishes without fearing that the real world will hear them and will take them all away.

“I love you, Soonyoung,” he says against his lips. “And I trust you, okay?.”

Soonyoung swallows visibly and leans his forehead against Jihoon’s, a warm shaky breath escaping from his mouth.

“Thank you,” Soonyoung whispers and Jihoon leans back lips tilted upwards in a confused smile.

“Thank you?”

“I know you only say those things for me. It means a lot."

“You’re a little selfish, aren’t you?” Jihoon’s fingers brush tenderly along his cheekbones and Soonyoung won’t meet his eyes. “I say them because I feel them and because I want you to know that I feel them,” he places a soft kiss to the corner of Soonyoung’s mouth. “And maybe also because I want to see this look on your face.”

It’s not like he never says it. He’s loved Soonyoung for a long time and since they got together this love grew to mean something very different and it didn’t take long for Jihoon to understand that and to let Soonyoung know. He just doesn’t say it often. He doesn’t think that’s a bad thing, either. If rarity means Soonyoung’s little shaky sighs, soft blushes, and his quiet humbled persona he’d only say it once a year. The sheer reminder of how much those words mean to Soonyoung, how much his love means to Soonyoung… Maybe it's Jihoon who is the selfish one.

They walk around some more and end up in the main terrace that overlooks the city and they watch the sun disappear behind the mountain to finish off the day.

“When’s our flight tomorrow?” Jihoon asks. There are people around so they’re simply leaning on the railing side by side, watching the last of the sun sink into the horizon. 

“Nine in the morning,” Soonyoung says, scrolling opening the reservation email on his phone. “We’ll land at five.”

“In the morning?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung nods, feeling a little distant all of a sudden. “I have schedule that day, but it’s only at nine so should be fine.”

“We’ll sleep on the flight,” Jihoon tells him and Soonyoung nods pocketing his phone away.

“Weird, huh?” Soonyoung smiles at Jihoon but it isn’t too genuine. “Going back after this.”

“It’s only been a few days but it’s easy to get used to,” Jihoon admits. “Thank you, Soonyoung.”

“You paid for the flight and hotel, didn’t you?”

Was he still mad about that? “You had the idea,” Jihoon says. “I would’ve never done this if not for you.”

Soonyoung watches him for a few seconds and looks away again. They’re quiet for a while and Jihoon lets Soonyoung think through whatever he needs to. Moody Soonyoung isn’t rare, and Jihoon knows it’s best to just let him simmer a little before mentioning anything.

“I’m being greedy, again,” he says finally.

“We both are,” Jihoon tells him, moving a little closer so their shoulders are touching. He reaches for Soonyoung’s hand and laces their fingers together. It’s twilight now, there is an announcement that the park will be closing in the next hour and with the people around them dispersing after the sunset Jihoon leans his head on Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“I want this,” Soonyoung squeezes his hand tightly. “All the time. So badly. It’s killing me inside.”

Jihoon chuckles airily but his chest hurts. “You’re being dramatic.”

“A little,” he agrees. “It’s also useless to ponder over because we both know what we’ll choose in the end.”

“You make it sound like it’s either one or the other,” Jihoon murmurs. “But we’ve been together for years and it’s okay, isn’t it? As long as we can be true like this sometimes, it’s all worth it.” He can feel Soonyoung kiss the top of his head and he snuggles a little closer to him.

“Sorry I keep going back to this,” Soonyoung says after another quiet minute. “All of this really is too easy to get used to.” 

♡

On their way home they hold hands in the back of the taxi and Jihoon has a melody in his head and lyrics on the tip of his tongue. They buy a random booklet and pen as soon as they’re in their area and at dinner Jihoon writes down a song and Soonyoung is quiet and patient the entire time letting Jihoon complete his work in peace.

“Is it done?” Soonyoung asks, licking the spoon from the last bite of tiramisu he got for desert.

“Somewhat,” Jihoon smiles. “I’m just glad I got something out.”

“Is it sad?” Soonyoung leans his chin onto the palm of his hand. “I think it’s time we have a ballad comeback.”

“You know this doesn’t have to be the title track?” Jihoon’s eyes narrow but the smile stays. “It is on the sadder side, though… That’s not surprising after our last conversation.”

“Sad songs are pretty. Yours especially," Soonyoung smiles warmly, fingers brushing the edges of the notebook and Jihoon’s eyes narrow.

“If you want to see the lyrics just ask.”

“May I please?” Soonyoung grins and Jihoon considers it for a moment before pushing the booklet towards him.

“It’s still a work in progress, obviously,” Jihoon says while Soonyoung reads through the words. When Soonyoung sucks in his lips Jihoon feels his heart stutter. “What?”

“It's beautiful,” Soonyoung says finally. “What would you call it?”

“ _Forever_ ,” Jihoon says easily and Soonyoung almost melts in front of his eyes.

They ask for the bill and Soonyoung pays a little upset over how little Jihoon ate because he was so busy writing the song and Jihoon kisses him softly on the cheek when they’re walking through some quiet street and tells him he can buy him ice cream later. When they reach the big street near their hotel Jihoon notices the Gucci store again and looks at Soonyoung sideways.

“What is it?”

“Maybe I’ll buy you something after all,” Jihoon lets go of Soonyoung’s hand because they’re on a main street now and because he doesn’t want to attract more eyes especially when they approach the store.

“You really don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Jihoon says simply. When he’s about to enter the store he realizes Soonyoung isn’t behind him. “Are you coming?” Soonyoung blinks at him for a second and then looks down at the ground flushing slightly as he catches up.

It’s nearing seven now so it’s almost closing time but there are still a few people browsing. Soonyoung follows Jihoon closely and doesn’t say anything and is especially silent when Jihoon stops near the jewelry section. He looks over the collection for a few moments before he glances at Soonyoung. 

“Tiger or H?” he asks casually and Soonyoung’s eyes widen.

“Are you crazy? You don’t need to get me a ring.”

“I just wrote a song about you called _Forever_ ,” Jihoon’s voice remains stable even though his heart is hammering quite intensely. “I think a ring is expected.”

Soonyoung’s eyes widen even further. “Is this a proposal?”

Before Jihoon can reply an employee asks if they need assistance and Jihoon asks to see both rings.

“Size?” She asks and Jihoon looks over at Soonyoung.

“Show her your hand.”

“I can't believe you,” Soonyoung mutters but stretches out his arm to let her see.

“Ah,” the employee says observing his hand quickly. “Pinky ring?” she asks tapping on the white strip of skin where his Seventeen ring usually sits.

“No,” Soonyoung shakes his head. “Any other.” The woman looks confused for a second but nods and Soonyoung mutters a small thank you as he pulls his hand away. When she starts looking in the drawers for his size Soonyoung exchanges a look with Jihoon. They’re both not wearing their rings for the few days because they could be recognized, but mostly just because it's nice to have that life placed on the side for a little while.

When the woman takes out a few boxes, Soonyoung tentatively tries the rings on and Jihoon watches patiently.

“Which one do you like more?” He asks gently because he can see how Soonyoung is a little shy at the whole situation.

“They’re both pretty,” he says offhandedly and quickly looks over at Jihoon as if sensing what he’s about to say. “No you may not get me both.” Jihoon shuts his mouth and smiles.

“Then choose something, _jagiya_ ,” he tells him softly and watches in delight the soft blush that spreads across his cheekbones.

“The H,” he says laying a finger on it. “H for Hoshi, H for heavy rain and H for holiday,” he finishes with the English word and a cheeky smile and Jihoon smiles back. He tells the woman he’ll take the ring and hands her his credit card.

“So all anyone needs to do is sleep with you and you’ll drop money on them?”

“So far yes,” Jihoon shrugs and Soonyoung's smile only brightens.

“Do you have a passport for tax refund?” The woman asks before she closes the bill and Jihoon shakes his head.

“It’s okay,” he tells her and the woman frowns.

“Are you sure? If you have an ID I can arrange something,” Jihoon frowns but hands over the one ID he carries in his wallet. They watch the woman type something on her computer for a few minutes and when she looks up she seems surprised.

“Your name is in our data base,” she says with a pleasant smile “I can make a discount for you, if you’d like.” 

“I won’t disagree to that,” Jihoon mutters feeling slightly anxious about being discovered so easily and the woman nods.

“How much do you really buy from Gucci?” Soonyoung asks while the woman works out the final price.

Jihoon shrugs, feeling better with Soonyoung near him. “Yeojin-noona takes care of everything,” he says the usual excuse and Soonyoung laughs.

The deduction ends up being almost seventy euros and Jihoon is too lazy to do the math of what’s that in won but he’s still grateful. They thank the woman in choppy Spanish before leaving the store, and outside Jihoon hands Soonyoung the bag telling him to put on the ring.

“Are you kidding? I want you to put it on for me. Make it romantic,” Soonyoung’s lashes flutter and Jihoon rolls his eyes. “I feel like you’re my sugar daddy,” he adds almost giggling. “Takes me to a fancy hotel in a pretty European city, buys me a four hundred thousand won ring. I’m too pampered!” 

“Where was this excitement in the store?” Jihoon looks away because he feels his cheeks burn. “I almost thought you didn’t want me to get it.”

“I didn’t want you to _feel_ like you had to buy it for me,” Soonyoung’s grin softens and he puts his arm around Jihoon. “But now that I know it’s genuine, I couldn’t be more thankful.” 

“You can try,” Jihoon mutters but he feels happy. “Buy me some ice cream.” 

Soonyoung squeezes him closer. “Deal.”

They end up back at the hotel room with a small box of Italian ice cream nestled between them on the bed as they watch some Spanish show on TV and try to decipher what’s going on.

“I think Rebecca is about to break up with him.”

“But wasn’t she with that Eduardo guy?”

“That’s her brother,” Soonyoung says.

“I might not have any, but I’m pretty sure siblings do _not_ look at each other like that.”

“But she called him ‘brother’,” he points out with the English word and Jihoon slaps him lightly on the stomach.

“Brother is English, this is a show in Spanish smartass,” Jihoon scolds him and Soonyoung smiles apologetically with a spoon between his teeth. Jihoon flips over to his side and stares up at him. “Please don’t tell me we’re going to watch this all night instead of doing _other_ things.”

“Someone’s desperate,” Soonyoung smiles, nose scrunching adorably and Jihoon rolls onto his back again, sighing.

“So even after I buy you an expensive ring, I still get nothing,” he mutters dramatically, eyes closed.

“First of all,” Soonyoung says sitting up. “I got you ice cream. Second of all,” he adds and Jihoon can hear him closer now. “I knew it was all about the sex.”

“You’re right,” Jihoon opens his eyes, not surprised that Soonyoung is hovering right above him. “I bought you the ring just to get in your pants. So may I please?” Jihoon asks pointedly reaching for the button of his jeans and Soonyoung pulls away.

“Technically, you still haven't given me the ring."

“It’s in the box, just take it.”

“Lee Jihoon, don’t be rude,” Soonyoung scolds. “I don’t let rude boys fuck me.” 

“You already did.”

“You aren’t rude,” He pauses. “You weren't last night at least.”

Jihoon snickers but rolls off the bed anyway to get the ring from the Gucci bag they left on the table. When he turns around with the box in his hand, Soonyoung is sitting cross-legged on the bed still eating the ice cream, his smile big and eager.

Jihoon takes a breath and Soonyoung raises his hand, the one with the spoon. “Wait, wait, before you start!” He reaches for the remote and mutes the TV. “Okay, go on,” he says grinning.

“What do I even say?” Jihoon sighs. “Just put the ring on.”

Soonyoung lets out a mock gasp. “You’re too romantic, Woozi-yah!” He squeals and Jihoon watches the stupid act through narrowed eyes.

“I’m serious.”

“I don’t know, Jihoon,” Soonyoung shrugs. “You’re the one who wanted to buy me the ring, I just want to know why.”

Jihoon watches him for a moment and sighs again, squeezing the box lightly in his hand.

“The ring… Rings have always meant something special, especially to us as Seventeen, so I wanted to get one just for you, because you’re also… Special, especially to me.” Soonyoung lets out a snort that turns into a laugh and Jihoon almost throws the ring box at him. “Shut up!” Jihoon feels as if his face is lit on fire as he watches Soonyoung get off the bed and put the ice cream on the table beside Jihoon as he comes near.

“I’m sorry!” He says, still laughing. “I’m sorry, you just looked like you were in so much pain. I couldn't bear seeing you like that,” he pouts mockingly and Jihoon keeps glaring. “Just put it on for me,” Soonyoung offers his hand. “That’s enough, I swear. I know you well enough to not need to hear all those words.” Jihoon’s gaze softens and he still feels his face burning but at least he doesn’t have to humiliate himself any longer. “Also I read _Forever_ ,” Soonyoung adds in a soft voice and Jihoon refuses to meet his eyes as he opens the box and takes out the ring. With his free hand he takes hold of Soonyoung’s and glides the ring onto his ring finger ignoring Soonyoung’s piercing stare on the top of his head.

“You could’ve gone on your knees, you know,” Soonyoung whispers. “That would’ve been _super_ romantic.” Jihoon ignores him and watches the big H, its silver reflecting the orange light of their hotel room.

“H for Hoshi, H for heavy rain,” he mutters. “H for holiday,” he says switching to English. “H for home.”

When Soonyoung doesn’t say anything for almost a minute Jihoon looks up to find him smiling brightly at him. He looks like he’s about to cry.

“See?” He says softly, taking hold of Jihoon’s face with his free hand. “You didn’t even need to try.”

♡

They spend the night together in bed, much like the night before, but with a little bit more liberty and a little bit more of nothing to lose. They’ll probably be more open to having sex back in Seoul now that they are attune with the… logistics of it all, but they definitely won’t have this amount of freedom for a long time. So they don’t take it for granted. Until five in the morning they don’t take it for granted and only sleep an hour before they need to get up at six to make it to the airport.

Jihoon doesn’t get up until six thirty though, letting Soonyoung take care of packing their things.

“Oh!” Soonyoung exclaims and Jihoon groans into his pillow from the noise. “I never opened our album.” Jihoon feels the dip where Soonyoung sits himself on the mattress and opens one eye to find him unwrapping the box. “Who are you hoping for?” Soonyoung grins over his shoulder. “I’m kind of hoping for DK… Maybe Dino! Oh, oh, oh S.Coups!” He adds a tiny squeal and Jihoon shoves him lightly with his foot so he shuts up. “Don’t be offended, I heard Woozi is really hard to get.”

Jihoon sighs and sits up stretching himself ignoring the pain he feels in his ass and he’s about to ask Soonyoung if he feels it too when Soonyoung shoots up from the mattress and genuinely squeals.

“Oh my god!” He turns around grinning holding up two photo cards. “Howoo, howoo, howoo!”

“No way,” Jihoon reaches out to see because he doesn’t believe it. Before he can take hold of the cards Soonyoung is on top of him, kissing him, lips, face, neck, everywhere and Jihoon grabs the photos out of his hand and indeed it’s him and Soonyoung and Jihoon starts laughing because it’s too much of a coincidence.

“Ahhhh,” Soonyoung is grinning at him between kisses. “It’s destiny, don’t you think?”

“It’s a ridiculous coincidence,” Jihoon snorts but he feels really really happy.

♡

They stuff the photo cards happily behind each other's phone cases and by the time they're ready there’s time for a quick breakfast before they leave. They use the opportunity to stuff fruit and pastries into their bags and the waiter on duty sees them but is thankfully too sleepy to tell them to stop. Jihoon can understand him. Later, while Jihoon closes the hotel bill, Soonyoung excuses himself to run to the store around the corner saying something about chocolate for the members. Because Jihoon has used up all his luck in the last two days, the receptionist checking him out is the same one from when they checked in and the air between them is more than uncomfortable. At least he’ll never see him again after this.

"How was your stay?" He asks while passing the credit card.

"Perfect," Jihoon smiles tightly. When the man hands over the papers, Jihoon signs them as quickly as possible and leaves the desk to wait for Soonyoung by the revolving entrance door.

He takes out his phone and texts Yeojin-noona to see if she’s checked them in for their flight and sees that the Seventeen group chat booming since it's around midday in Seoul. He ignores the messages popping up as he opens some random game on his phone until he realizes Soonyoung is participating in the conversation.

Soonyoung: i can't today!!! ><

Seokmin: aww come on youve been gone all week

Myungho: we have that schedule tomorrow remember?

Soonyoung: not all week!! just a few days and yes ill be back in the morning

Jihoon closes the chat not really needing to say anything to that but gets a private message from Seungcheol a few seconds later.

Seungcheol: hoshi's with you right?

Jihoon feels his chest freeze for a second but he reminds himself that he and Soonyoung are best friends, them hanging out together on their free time isn't that weird... Before he decides whether or not to reply Soonyoung is back and he's taking hold of Jihoon's waist and pulling him close for a peck on the top of his head.

"Should we get a cab?" Jihoon looks up at him and nods, pocketing his phone away. He'll talk to Cheol tomorrow but for now... He wants to enjoy this holiday for a little while longer.

♡

They arrive at the airport with an hour and a half to spare and since they're checked in already all they need to do is pass through security.

"Okay," Soonyoung says grabbing Jihoon's elbow. "Confession."

Jihoon looks at him, waiting. "What is it?" He asks finally when Soonyoung hasn't spoken for almost half a minute.

"This morning I went to the pharmacy," he says slowly and lays a hand on his carry on. “I hope you know I have three years worth of lube and condoms in here."

Jihoon blinks at him and then smirks. "Depends on how often we use them."

Soonyoung shudders. "Don't even joke like that."

The lube is wrapped in a bag and is in small enough containers that it doesn't violate any milliliter rules but the man checking their bags through the monitor still gives them a weird stare.

"I can't believe you," Jihoon mutters as they make their way to passport control.

"I thought you supported the idea!"

"That's because it takes double the time for my sleep deprived brain to catch up," Jihoon mutters. "For you, too. Clearly."

"You think I'm about to go buy supplies in Seoul? I had to stock up," Soonyoung is holding on to both of their passports getting them on the right pages and that little act alone is enough to make Jihoon smile despite their conversation.

"I could always ask Yeojin-noona to buy some for us," he points out casually.

"What?" Soonyoung's head shoots up. "She _knows_ knows?"

"Wasn't that obvious?"

"I thought she just thought we're taking a vacation..."

"I can't tell if you're acting dumb to be cute."

Soonyoung doesn't even look offended. "I guess I didn't realize how much you trust her."

"I need to," Jihoon says simply. "She takes care of all my private matters."

They're talking in hushed voices because some Korean passengers are around them. They’re mostly business men, though, and unless they're up to date with the idol scene their kids are into, Jihoon doubts they'll get recognized or that anyone cares what they're talking about. 

"I asked her to get a room for us at a fancy hotel with a king sized bed," Jihoon adds quietly, when Soonyoung still looks surprised. "I didn't have to say anything else." Soonyoung watches him for a second still impressed that Jihoon has so much faith in his assistant before he nods, understanding, and lets the conversation go at that.

"You hungry?" Soonyoung asks once they've passed passport control and enter the shopping zone.

"No," Jihoon mutters. "Tired."

"Should we get some souvenirs for the members?" Soonyoung asks, looking at the chocolate display in one of the shops.

"Nobody's supposed to know we're together."

"Well, I think they assumed," Soonyoung says offhandedly as he goes towards one of the stores and Jihoon follows nearby. "Seungcheol texted me," Soonyoung adds then. "And if he texted me, I know he texted you."

Jihoon sighs. "I thought I'd just tell him we went to Busan together."

"Sure," Soonyoung shrugs. "I like your family."

"Why thank you," Jihoon mumbles watching Soonyoung grab two largest bags of mixed chocolates. Always thinking of the members… It’s endearing.

"One for each apartment," Soonyoung explains when he notices Jihoon looking at him even though he didn't need an explanation.

They get some tea after and a pastry to share and find a spot in a more secluded area where they can sit side by side. They’re quiet for a few minutes while they eat, watching the planes move to take off through the window.

"So," Soonyoung starts softly and it's really no surprise he'll lead the sentimental talk they both know is coming. "Was this all worth it?"

"You know it was," Jihoon says simply. He's leaning on Soonyoung's shoulder, legs bunched up on his seat, exhausted. "Every second," he adds and feels Soonyoung's arm snake around his shoulder to pull him close.

"Should we do it again sometime?"

"Hmm," Jihoon's eyes close while his hand reaches for Soonyoung's that finds his easily and squeezes tight. "When the time permits."

"Where should we go?" Soonyoung's own voice grows sleepy, his thumb running over their entwined fingers.

"Far," Jihoon mutters.

Soonyoung chuckles softly and they're both quiet for a few minutes. "Will you room with me on tour?" Soonyoung asks finally and Jihoon can't help but let out a slightly loud cackle.

"I won't be touring cities with you, though," he says pointedly.

"That's okay, I’ll have eleven other people for that." _True enough,_ Jihoon thinks. "But we don't live in the same apartment and I bought all this lube..." Jihoon uses his free hand to pinch the side of Soonyoung's waist and he laughs.

"No need to worry too much about that," Jihoon says pointedly. "Plus, Vernonie visits his family a lot."

"You wanna have sex in the dorm?" Soonyoung sounds surprised.

"With the amount of noise you make that's probably not a very good idea," Jihoon snickers and when Soonyoung doesn't say anything to that Jihoon looks up to find him blushing. "I do have access to very soundproof places," Jihoon adds tilting up a little to brush his nose lazily against Soonyoung's jaw, smirking when Soonyoung's hold on his hand tightens.

"Shut up," Soonyoung whispers. "I can’t think about that right now, we're in public." It's probably not a very good thing how much that sentence excites him because Jihoon starts mouthing kisses on his neck and is kind of glad there's nobody sitting next to them so that he can do it without causing a potential scene.

"Jihoon, stop," Soonyoung's voice is a little raspy but he doesn't pull away.

"How much longer till our flight?" Jihoon asks between kisses, some going up to Soonyoung's chin, their hands still clasped together.

"Thirty minutes?" Soonyoung replies shakily and Jihoon pulls away, sitting up straight and smiles lazily.

"Since we’re now Seventeen’s official bad boys,” Jihoon snickers. “Should we be _really_ bad… I saw a handicap bathroom on the way here. That's enough privacy, right?"

"Jihoon..."

"I'll just take care of that for you, that's all," Jihoon smiles, staring pointedly at the slight tent of Soonyoung's sweatpants and Soonyoung was really never strong enough to tell Jihoon no.

♡

They board their plane on time even with the little detour and keep giggling like idiots when the stewardess brings them their complimentary drinks. They get business seats again and Soonyoung still thinks it’s the points.

“So, would you write a song about what we just did?"

"I don't know," Jihoon smirks putting the wine aside not really caring for it. "Seems more of a song you'd write, a sequel to _Touch_ perhaps?"

"That's not a bad idea," Soonyoung hums taking a sip and Jihoon leans back on his seat smiling at him. "What?" Soonyoung asks when he notices him staring, ears pinking a little.

"I'm really happy, Soonyoung," he tells him softly. "Thank you."

"Thank _me_?" Soonyoung asks incredulously putting his own glass of wine down. It’s not even nine in the morning yet. "You took care of everything."

"Yeojin-noona took care of everything," Jihoon corrects.

"You know what I mean."

"Not really. It was all your idea. I would've never done this if not for you." It's a repeat of the conversation from yesterday and Jihoon grins as he watches Soonyoung purse his lips.

"I'm really happy, too, Jihoon," he says finally. "Thank you."

Jihoon hums. "For what exactly?"

"Everything," Soonyoung says simply. They're both facing each other, faces close but not too much. Close enough that it’s comfortable. Close enough that they can talk in near whisper. Close enough that it's sincere.

"Everything, forever, paradise," Jihoon lists, lifting a finger for it to land on Soonyoung's new ring. "Home." When he looks back up at him Soonyoung is smiling a small soft smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes but Jihoon loves this deep, soft, Soonyoung that looks at Jihoon like he’s his whole world.

"I love you," Soonyoung whispers before they both fall asleep, and Jihoon isn't surprised to hear the words but they hit him strongly nonetheless.

"I love you, too."

♡

The flight goes smoothly and they both sleep for the entirety of it save for some bathroom and meal breaks in the middle. They’re still pretty exhausted though, that even the stewardess has to wake them up when they land and Jihoon tries not to feel flustered that the blanket they covered each other with has rolled off and she probably saw them holding hands.

Landing in their own country is easier. They don't travel alone almost ever, but figuring out the logistics both in South Korean and Spanish airports wasn't too hard and in thirty minutes they're outside of the airport heading towards the taxi line. It's five in the morning local time, so the line is short and the sun isn't even up yet that neither bothered disguising themselves with anything other than a cap. They get a cab almost immediately and Jihoon leans his head on Soonyoung's shoulder the entire ride home, watching early morning Seoul lights twinkle by. Soonyoung’s fingers caress his palm lightly while Jihoon tries not to think too hard about their last few days being a once in a lifetime opportunity.

By six they’re at the dorm and Soonyoung has his schedule in a couple of hours but they still think it's best to split up now so he can shower and unpack and hide the almost thirty boxes of gay sex equipment he smuggled into South Korea.

Jihoon's dorm is first so they face each other to say goodbye even though neither really wants to.

"I'll get lunch with you later?" Soonyoung suggests, and it's a bit awkward, which is a strange state to be in after their last few days. 

"Sure, I’ll be at the studio. I think I’ll work on the song," Jihoon admits.

"Is the genius Woozi feeling better then?" Soonyoung grins and Jihoon smiles back.

"Thanks to a certain someone.”

"Ahh, the good old Hoshi Woozi combo?" Soonyoung grins and Jihoon shoves him playfully. They're quiet again for a moment, just staring at each other and Soonyoung's smile softens. "Nothing's different, you know? It's just us." Jihoon isn't sure who Soonyoung is really trying to convince here.

"Everything is different," Jihoon disagrees and Soonyoung's eyes are warm and his smile warmer.

"Not in a bad way," he says and Jihoon feels bad of how unsure he sounds. 

"Of course not," he agrees. Just in a way that'll hurt for a little while. That's what writing songs are for, though, right? Channel the feelings somehow. "Come by if you want to later, okay?”

"Okay," Soonyoung's smile is still stuck in that soft, sad, tilt and Jihoon can't help but take his face in his hands and kiss him softly in the middle of the corridor before he has to go inside. 

"Thank you, Soonyoung," he whispers against his lips. "For everything. I'm serious."

"You too," Soonyoung isn't quite meeting his eyes and Jihoon can tell he's probably holding back tears. It's a little endearing how softly Soonyoung's heart operates. "Can I say it again?"

Jihoon chuckles kissing him. "You can say it as many times as you want."

"I love you." Jihoon hums into the words and kisses him one last time.

"I'll see you later," he promises and unlocks the apartment door glancing over his shoulder to mouth a goodbye.

"I'll miss you!" Soonyoung says in a loud whisper and Jihoon shakes his head disappearing inside the apartment.

Inside, Jihoon gets a cup of water and texts his assistant that he's home before quietly entering his room. He definitely did not miss Mingyu's snoring in the last couple of days but being home, in his room, with the apartment quiet yet full of his members... It feels nice. In his hand, his phone suddenly vibrates and he sees a text from Soonyoung.

Soonyoung: i miss u already 

Jihoon: thats not healthy

Soonyoung: i can't help it 

Jihoon grins happily at his screen and feels his heart squeeze into a comfortable ball in his chest. 

He’s a little unsure of what he wants to do now. He slept twelve hours on the flight, he could just go to the studio even though it’s too early... He tries not to sigh as he looks up at his bed having absolutely no desire to climb in. There’s an emptiness within him that he knows will greet him even thicker in bed and he isn't ready to welcome it so soon. 

He didn't want to think about it too much earlier but this really is reality. His room with a snoring Mingyu is reality. Living in separate apartments is reality. Getting a few kisses a week if they're lucky is reality. Their holiday... Barcelona... That was a pipe dream coming true – their paradise – while this emptiness and loneliness remains their truth. The realization scares him and feels a little like heartbreak but Jihoon tells himself again that he wouldn't change their situation for anything else. 

Soonyoung: jihoon

Soonyoung's text distracts him from the unwelcome thoughts.

Soonyoung: what r u doing

Jihoon: idk deciding

Soonyoung: vernons not here

Jihoon blinks at the screen and smiles. Ahh, he thinks, perhaps this little drop of happiness, this reminder that Soonyoung is always on the other side waiting for him... It's enough. Things really aren't so bad if they can feel truly together even just once a day. He leaves the room and pockets his phone after sending a quick text back.

Jihoon: im coming up

♡♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> ENDINGS ARE SO HARDDD if you got this far thank you!! id love to hear your thoughts/fav scenes whether here or on twit @iluhosh bc i rlly do love talking abt snhn hhhh.. 
> 
> thank you thank you thank you for reading!! i promise i havent forgotten abt my other fics i just really wanted to finish this one.. i'll see u all soon ♡
> 
> also if anyones wondering yes i did listen to svt's holiday on repeat while writing this


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